Don't You Care?
by Commander
Summary: Odie, thanks to his previous success as a hero, is sent to rescue eleven puppies from an avalanche. Garfield, wanting some of the glory, goes with him. In fact, he's one of many who goes with him. Finished!
1. Porch Chairs and Ceramic Pots

(AN: Hey there! I'm Commander, and--(is attacked) Hey, wait! I know, it's annoying how I always have to introduce myself at the beginning of every story… blame spending too long in the Fairly Oddparents section.   
  
I have a good reason for doing this, though. This story follows the first Garfield fanfic I wrote eons ago. If you haven't read it, then you don't need to. All you need to know is that Odie got captured by this evil laboratory, they made him smarter, then Garfield and Odie saved the rest of the animals there and became heroes. There. Now we shall never speak of that horrid fanfic again. (shudders) But yeah, that's why Odie can talk in this fic. Don't worry, though, he's still Odie.  
  
Also, this story is rated PG-13 because of an upcoming chapter… heh. Hopefully I won't go into too much detail… heh again.  
  
Enjoy my latest fanfic! (I should finish my other fanfics I'm working on first. Oh well.))  
  
"No, I don't wanna…"  
  
Garfield stirred in his sleep and reluctantly opened his eyes. "YAAH!" he screamed in fear, suddenly leaping up and clinging to the ceiling. He hadn't expected a huge pair of eyes to be the first thing that he saw!  
  
Catching his breath, he managed to yell, "Odie! You scared the kitty litter out of me--"  
  
Odie was clutching a ball in his mouth, although this didn't affect his ability to speak, since animals communicate with loud thoughts. "C'mon Garfield, let's play fetch!"  
  
"Let me get off the ceiling first, dummy," muttered Garfield. "However I do that…"  
  
Slowly, he lifted his right front paw from the ceiling. Then his left.  
  
"Whoa!" he cried, for he was now hanging by his back legs. "Well, here goes…"  
  
He released both back legs at the same time, falling with a yell back on his bed.  
  
"So, now do you wanna?" cried Odie, totally unfazed.  
  
Garfield grabbed Odie's nose and yanked his face towards his in one rapid movement. "I have more important things to do, Bimbo the Wonder Dog. Like nurse my wounds."  
  
"Oh… well… maybe later!" Odie trotted from the room happily, his small tail wagging behind him.  
  
"Dumb mutt," muttered Garfield. "Apparently, the only 'smart' thing he can do is talk." He stretched out painfully (thanks not only to his fall, but from his old age) and laid back down in his bed.  
  
"It's impossible to sleep when one is in so much pain," he lamented to himself. "Which means I might as well have breakfast." He stood up and made his way towards the kitchen.  
  
WHOOSH! A strange dog suddenly ran in through the pet door and into the kitchen. Garfield blinked. "What the-"  
  
"Excuse me, but are you 'Odie'?" Garfield heard the unexpected dog ask.  
  
"Uh, yeah… are you here to play ball with me?"  
  
"No. We at International Rescue Dogs--IRD--need your help!"  
  
Garfield rolled his eyes. "Oh please," he muttered. "You'd have more luck asking a porch chair."  
  
"What's that?" Odie could be heard asking.  
  
"It's a group of dogs around the world who help others in need. Usually we help other dogs, but sometimes we help humans… and sometimes, ghastly as it may sound, we even help cats."  
  
Garfield growled.  
  
"What do you mean by help?"  
  
The strange dog's voice sounded annoyed. "We're the IRD, you know. While we are qualified to assist in any way necessary, we usually go on rescue missions! Which is what we need you for, Odie!"  
  
Odie sounded confused. "Why do you need me?"  
  
"Because," said the other dog, "we've heard of your legendary feat! How you saved hundreds of poor animals and brought down an evil organization single-pawed!"  
  
"That does it," said Garfield suddenly. He burst into the kitchen unexpectedly.  
  
"Look here, mister IRD," he yelled to the surprised rescue dog, "Odie had some help in that little adventure! Specifically, mine! In fact, I did most of the work, Odie just tagged along for the ride!"  
  
Odie scowled. "That's not true, Garfield! Don't try to take all the glory! It was about fifty fifty!"  
  
The dog, who Garfield could finally identify as a black lab, huffed haughtily. "Be that as it may, we are rescue DOGS, not rescue CATS." He turned back to Odie. "Recently, some explorers and their St. Bernard, Louisa, were climbing one of the Swiss Alps. They were trapped in an avalanche, but some humans rescued them. Unbeknownst to all of them, whilst they were trapped Louisa gave birth to eleven puppies."  
  
"She was pregnant with eleven puppies?" cried Garfield. "How could they not notice that?"  
  
"You know humans, they're appallingly stupid," said the lab. "Anyway, Louisa is terrified. Her puppies are stuck there, she's trying to tell the humans but they won't listen--you know how humans can be in these cases--and even though she says that they did have some food stored in there, they are just puppies, the food will soon run out, and there are predators up there. So, Odie, that's where you come in. You--and you have been assigned a partner, too, if you accept--will go to the Swiss Alps and rescue Louisa's puppies."  
  
"Lemme get this straight," said Garfield before Odie could say anything. "You want Odie, who has about the same IQ as a ceramic pot, to go to Europe and rescue eleven St. Bernard puppies--who I'm guessing are bigger than even I am--from an avalanche?"  
  
The lab nodded. "If you want to look at it that way, then yes."  
  
Garfield laughed. "There's no way Odie would ever do that!"  
  
"Actually," said Odie, finally getting a chance to speak, "I think I'll do it."  
  
"WHAT?" cried Garfield.  
  
"Hey, I can't just sit here and do nothing when poor little puppies are stuck on some mountain!" said Odie bravely. "Besides, he did say I'd have a partner."  
  
"Thank you, Odie," said the lab, shaking his paw and handing him a sheet of paper. "Here's your meeting place with your partner. Be there in two hours. You don't have any time to lose." With that, the dog bounded out of the kitchen and out of the pet door and was gone as quickly as he had come.  
  
"Odie, you're the stupidest dog I've ever met!" cried Garfield. He thought for a moment. "Not like this is news to me. But still, going to rescue a bunch of European dogs from… WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?"  
  
Odie gave Garfield a confused look. "Uh, Garfield…I just remembered I can't read! I don't know where I'm supposed to go!"  
  
Garfield rolled his eyes. "Give me that paper," he muttered, looking at it. "At least I can read."  
  
"Thanks, Garfield!" said Odie happily. "You're a great friend. So, where am I supposed to go?"  
  
Garfield grinned mysteriously. "I'm not telling."  
  
"Garfield!" cried Odie angrily. "This isn't funny! You heard that dog, this is urgent!"  
  
"I won't tell, but I'll show you," said Garfield. "Because I'm coming with you!"  
  
Odie blinked. "Huh? Why do you care about lost puppies?"  
  
"I don't care one bit," admitted Garfield. "But there's no way that you're going to get all the glory for this. I'M going to get all the glory!"  
  
"I should have known," mumbled Odie.  
  
"But hey, there's no rush," said Garfield. "This address is in town, and we don't have to be there for nearly two hours. Let's get some food packed for our trip!" With that, Garfield swung open the door to the fridge.  
  
Odie moaned. "Aah, man! What have I gotten myself in to?" 


	2. Olives and Dumbwaiters

(AN: Sorry for the wait. I had a bad case of writer's block. Usually I write a chapter in one sitting, but this one took me three. I just kept on getting stuck. And being busy with other things didn't help. Well, anyway, here's chapter two for your reading pleasure. :) )  
  
"Odie… do you HAVE to sniff every fire hydrant we pass?"  
  
Odie gave Garfield an annoyed look. "At least I don't bury my turds."  
  
"Oooh, sting!" Garfield clutched his chest and pretended to fall. "Look, there are great reasons for why we cats--"  
  
"Yeah, just like there's great reasons for why we dogs sniff fire hydrants. Come on, I'm done."  
  
"Alright." Garfield pulled out the sheet of paper with the instructions written on it. "We should be almost there. And we're still about fifteen minutes early." He looked up. "Whoa, no way!"  
  
"What?" asked Odie.  
  
Garfield pointed to the abandoned building looming in front of them. "This building… this is where my family lives! This is where I was born! Of all the meeting places, this is the one that they chose…"  
  
"Well, come on!" said Odie happily. "If you're family's around, maybe you can introduce me to them."  
  
Garfield crawled through the boards that covered the doorway. "Well, sure, if I see them I'll introduce them to my sidekick--"  
  
"It's the other way around!" growled Odie, following Garfield. "I'M the one they wanted for the mission!"  
  
"Aah yes, the drooling wonder." Garfield waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness and looked around. "Now, if I remember correctly, my family lives just through that little hole in the wall."  
  
Odie cocked his head in confusion. "You fit through that?"  
  
"Be quiet, bone-breath," muttered Garfield. He knelt down and tried to force his bulk through the hole, with little success.  
  
Odie grinned maliciously. "Need help, Lardo?"  
  
Garfield tried to push himself through. "When--I--need--your--help--I'll--ask--for--it!"  
  
Still smirking, Odie whirled his leg and, with one mighty kick…  
  
BLAM!  
  
Odie squeezed through the hole in the wall, grinning at Garfield, who was flattened against the opposite wall. "Did I ask for your help, Wonder Mutt?"  
  
"No, but I figured you would have if your lungs weren't crushed," grinned Odie.  
  
Garfield looked around. "Strange… there's no one here."  
  
"Maybe they all moved," offered Odie.  
  
"Maybe." Garfield stopped. "Wait, did you hear that?"  
  
Odie's nose perked up. "Yeah, and I smell something, too." He sniffed the ground, following the trail to…  
  
A box, turned upside down.  
  
"Flip it over!" urged Garfield.  
  
Cautiously, Odie raised his paw, pushed the box over, and--  
  
"YAAAAAAH!"  
  
"YIPE!"  
  
Odie leapt in fright, as the silvery-blue cat sprang from underneath the box and perched on a nearby ledge, looking terrified.  
  
"If you're here for the olives, then I'm telling you for the last time, I don't know where they are! I think that they might be in the secretary's dumbwaiter, but I'm telling you I just don't know for sure! But if you haven't checked the dumbwaiter, then go to the tobacco store in Maui and--"  
  
"Hold it!" cried Garfield. He gave the cat an odd look. "We don't care about your olives… or whatever. Didn't… didn't a lot of other cats live here?"  
  
The strange cat nodded. "Oh, sure they did. Times were tough, though. Some died. Some moved off somewhere else. I stayed, however. I knew that they wouldn't think to look for me here, since they would have thought that I moved with the others. But I was wrong!"  
  
"We're not out to get you," said Odie. "We don't even know who you are!"  
  
"But the other cats," said Garfield. "Did you know… was one of them named…" Garfield snapped his fingers, trying to remember the name. Finally, he cried out, "Harriet!"  
  
"Harriet, yeah, 'course I knew her!" The strange cat smiled. "Such a nice cat too."  
  
"Well, what happened to her?"  
  
"She died," said the strange cat with a shrug. "Sad yes, but she was old. And she had a rather heartbreaking life, too. She had four kittens, you know. The first one she had ate this old restaurant out of business, so he was taken away from her when he was just a tiny… well, I guess he was born huge, so tiny probably isn't the word… when he was just a very young kitten! Can you imagine, eating out a whole Italian restaurant?" laughed the cat.  
  
"Hysterical," muttered Garfield. "So tell me more about my mom."  
  
The cat stopped laughing abruptly. "Your mom? Then that would make you… Ooohhhhhh. Well then, after you were taken away from her, she had three other kittens. Two of them were killed in fights with the Claws." He thought for a moment. "I think. Harriet didn't like to talk about that much. Anyway, the other one, Raoul, now I knew him. He had problems."  
  
"I know," said Garfield. "I met him once. So… Mom's dead." He sighed. "I should have figured. I mean, I'm no spring chicken myself, which would make my mom even older…"  
  
"Hey, sorry I had to break it to you," said the cat sympathetically. "But I'll make you feel welcome here. Any son of Harriet's is a friend of mine." He offered his paw. "The name's Schwartzkoff."  
  
Garfield stared. "Schwartzkoff?"  
  
"Yeah, ain't it a great name?" said Schwartzkoff. "So what's your name?"  
  
"My name's Garfield, and this dumb mutt here is Odie."  
  
"Hey!" cried Odie.  
  
"Schwartzkoff…" Garfield raised his eyebrow. "Is it just me, or do you look like a Russian Blue?"  
  
Schwartzkoff gave a dashing grin. "I should, because I am one!"  
  
"What's a Russian Blue?" asked Odie.  
  
"A rare breed of cat," said Garfield. "A lot of people would pay big money for one, even an insane one. So why are you a stray, Schwartz?"  
  
"Well, I wasn't born a stray," said Schwartzkoff. "I was born to a Russian Blue breeder. I lived there for a few months. But then I realized that the people who owned me were plotting to sell me off to an evil communistic organization, and all my siblings were sided with them! I could feel their eyes boring into me every minute," cried Schwartzkoff, his voice growing hysterically loud and his eyes becoming bloodshot and crazy looking. "I knew I had to escape before they captured me! So I ran away."  
  
Garfield shook his head in shock. "You've got major problems, kid."  
  
Schwartzkoff snorted indignantly. "I do not! I was the only one to see the evil being plotted! It's everyone else who is insane!"  
  
"Is anyone here?"  
  
Schwartzkoff leaped eight feet in the air in fright. Garfield just rolled his eyes. "That's probably just that dog Odie's supposed to meet."  
  
"Right," said Odie, squeezing his way through the hole. Garfield crouched down, tried to force his way through the hole… and got stuck.  
  
"Oh, great," muttered Garfield.  
  
"Let me help!" cried Schwartzkoff, giving Garfield a powerful kick in the rear.  
  
"YAAAAAAHH!" screamed Garfield, flying out from the hole. The skinny Russian Blue squeezed through the hole easily.  
  
It was indeed a dog that had spoken, a somewhat large dog with brownish red fur, tipped black on her muzzle and the tips of her ears, and with a fluffy, lighter colored tail. She cocked her head inquisitively. "Okay… I was told I was going to meet one dog. One. Dog. And yet I meet one dog and two cats?"  
  
Odie blushed. "Well, my friend Garfield insisted on coming with me. And Schwartzkoff just lives here."  
  
The dog shrugged. "Whatever." She offered her paw to Odie. "My name's Winnie. I guess we'll be traveling off to the far reaches of the Alps together, huh? What fun."  
  
"The Alps?" cried Schwartzkoff. "Wow, that DOES sound like fun! And the enemy would never find me there!"  
  
Winnie stared at Schwartzkoff. "You're crazy," she scoffed. Looking at Garfield, she added, "So are you. I can't understand why two cats would want to go to some freezing mountain range on the other side of the world to rescue some puppies. To be honest with you, the only reason I'M going is because I have too strong of a conscience. I'd much rather just…" She stretched her paws out and yawned contentedly. "…stay at home… sleep… maybe eat some table scraps my masters give me…"  
  
"Wow, a dog after my own heart," marveled Garfield. He blinked. "I cannot believe I just said that."  
  
"I'm probably too old for this, anyway," sighed Winnie. Garfield noticed that her muzzle had hints of silver fur against the black. Other than that, though, Winnie didn't particularly look very old… but then again, Garfield did not show his age like one would expect, either.  
  
"Hey, dog, I bet I'm older than you, and I'm going. For a slice of the glory," said Garfield, grinning egotistically.  
  
Winnie also grinned, but maliciously. "Oh really? How old are you?"  
  
"Don't you think that's a bit of a personal question?" asked Garfield.  
  
"Come on, I asked you a question," said Winnie. "How old are you?"  
  
Garfield pouted, realizing that Winnie wasn't going to give up until he told her. "Fine. Twenty-six."  
  
Winnie barked out in laughter. "Wow, you really are older than me!" she cried.  
  
"Obviously," snapped Garfield. "How long do dogs live, anyway? Twelve?"  
  
To his surprised, Winnie nodded. "Big dogs usually only live to about twelve. At least, that's what I've heard. I don't quite believe it, though. I'm rather large, eleven years old, and I still feel like I've got a few more years left in me." She smiled open-mouthed and Garfield, in shock, noticed that she had a black tongue.  
  
"Hey, you're part chow, aren't you?" cried Odie.  
  
Winnie nodded. "Yep. I'm proud of my chow chow heritage. It means I'm a good watchdog and that I don't like kids. And also, I like to chow…"  
  
"I saw that one coming," muttered Garfield and Schwartzkoff simultaneously.  
  
"Anyway. Enough chattering," snapped Winnie suddenly. "Let's get this over with. We've got some puppies to rescue." She pulled out a sheet of paper and looked at it. "It instructs that we are to board a certain airplane flight that will go to Europe, and we'll get further instructions there." She looked at her three companions. "Well, let's do it!"  
  
"I have a feeling I'm going to regret this," mumbled Garfield. "Something's going to happen that'll make me regret this for the rest of my life… although luckily that probably won't be too much longer."  
  
"Ahh, cheer up Gramps!" cried Schwartzkoff cheerfully. "We're going on a vacation! Although I don't have my passport…"  
  
(AN: In case you're wondering, Winnie is based off of my dog. Actually, she IS my dog. Schwartzkoff, however, sprang up from my head all by himself. See you at chapter three!) 


	3. Violations and Affections

(AN: Wow. Talk about a hiatus. Anyone still remember me? (laughs) But anyway... here I am! With another chapter for your reading enjoyment.)

"Um... where exactly are we going?"

Winnie shot an annoyed look at Garfield. "To the airport, _duh_. How else do you think we're going to get to Europe? Swim?"

"That would be the last thing they'd suspect!" cried Schwartzkoff.

Winnie wisely decided to ignore the insane Russian Blue. "Well anyway, it's about another mile in this dire—"

"WINNIE!"

Without warning, a tiny dog had leapt upon Winnie with such force that the big dog had fallen to the ground. Winnie angrily tried to push the tiny dog, now jumping around her and on her like a little kid at a candy store, away. The tiny dog was much too fast, however.

"Clay!" cried Winnie. "We're on a mission!"

Garfield snorted. "Clay?" That was the last name that popped to mind as he looked at the tiny, fluffy dog.

"A mission?" cried Clay, sounding like a five-year-old who was just told he was going to the zoo. "Ooh, I wanna come! It'd be better than hanging around Gizmo all day."

Odie gave Winnie a huge grin. "I take it you know this little Shih Tzu?"

"Watch your language!" snapped Garfield.

"Hey, that's the name of the breed!" cried Odie. "Shih. Tzu."

"Speaking of Gizmo, has he been neutered yet?" asked Winnie.

Clay rolled his eyes. "No, I'm sorry to say..."

"What's wrong with not being neutered?" snapped Garfield, Odie, and Schwartzkoff simultaneously.

"It means, tactfully stated, that you want to mate with anything that so much looks like a member of your same species," said Winnie. "Never mind its gender, or if it's even a different species, so long as it _looks_ like a—"

"Hold it." Garfield held up his paw. "_I_ haven't been neutered, but I certainly don't go around humping everything I see."

"Whatever," muttered Winnie, clearly not believing him. "Now Clay, I'm going to escort you back home. You are not going on this mission, and that's—"

"Aaw, come on!" cried Clay. "I wanna come! I'll be an asset!"

"How can annoying us be an asset?" wondered Schwartzkoff.

"I was wondering the same thing about you," muttered Garfield.

Odie looked quizzical. "Does he live with you, Winnie?"

Winnie laughed out loud. "Heck no. He's... well, you see, my humans are a husband and wife and their two kids. But they have an older son too, who lives about a mile away from us with his wife and twin baby girls. And Clay—and Gizmo, the un-neutered one—are their dogs."

"And you don't have to _escort _me," sniffed Clay haughtily. "If you haven't noticed, we are at my house right now!"

Winnie jerked her head in surprise. "So we are! Alright, off you go, Clay."

Clay shook his fluffy little head. "No way! I'm coming with you and that's final!"

Roaring with frustration, Winnie pressed her paws against her head and cried, "Look, Clay, I'm breaking enough rules as it is with these two cats tagging along. I don't need you to get me into more trouble!"

"Someone needs to take a chill pill," Garfield mumbled to Schwartzkoff. Schwartzkoff snickered.

"Hey, Winnie, is that you?" A small Pekingese, about the same size as Clay, ambled over to the fence that barred the travelers from the backyard. Garfield assumed that this was the infamous Gizmo.

"Oh, thank God someone's come," said another voice, a female voice. "If I had been left alone with this little Casanova for much longer, things might have gotten deadly."

Garfield froze. He knew that voice.

"Arlene?" he asked incredulously.

Sure enough, it was Garfield's old flame who poked her head around the gate. "Garfield?" Arlene asked, just as surprised as Garfield. "What on Earth are you doing here?"

Completely over his surprise, Garfield sniffed. "I could ask the same thing of you. But don't worry, since we really aren't dating anymore I can accept the fact that you find some little dog with his face smashed in more sexually attractive than me. I can handle—"

"_What_?" Arlene gasped. "You think I _like_ being violated by this little mutt? Well, have you got another thing—"

"Mutt?!" shrieked Gizmo. "I'll have you know that I am a pure bred Pekingese, thank you very much!"

Garfield and Arlene ignored the tiny dog. "Listen, Garfield, just because I got over _you _doesn't mean that I got over _cats_. I'm certainly not looking at dogs! It's just this little monster always jumps on me every time I so much as walk over here and... Oh, just forget it."

Garfield smiled, despite himself. It had been... how long since they had seen each other? There was another sign of his age, Garfield thought, because he couldn't remember. It had probably been awhile. They hadn't "broken up", so to say, but they just kept arguing more and more every time they saw each other, until they just stopped seeing each other all together.

And although he wouldn't admit it—especially to _her_—Garfield missed her. He had tried to shake that empty feeling off, but as strange as it sounded, he missed the insults. He missed insulting her, but what's more, he missed her insulting _him_. But what he really missed was when they actually _weren't_ nagging each other. When they'd sing on the fence together, when they'd tease dogs, when they'd just talk. That he missed most of all. On their best days together, Arlene made him feel special. She'd praise his traits that even Garfield hadn't known he had. And for Garfield, with his inflated ego, that was saying something.

Had it been love? He didn't know.

Arlene took a few breaths after her rant. She then leaped up on the fence, jumped down to the outside, looked at Garfield again, and, for the first time, smiled. "I've missed you, believe it or not," she said. Affectionately, she nuzzled under his chin.

"Yeah, the lack of insults was getting to me, too," admitted Garfield, feeling as though he'd exposed too much of him, and yet feeling strangely gratified too, having gotten the truth—or at least part of it—out.

"Aaw, what a sweet little soap opera this is!" warbled Schwartzkoff.

"I thought she was _my_ girlfriend," sulked Gizmo.

Odie raised his paw timidly. "Uh, excuse me? Don't we have puppies to rescue?"

"Puppies?" gasped Clay. "So _that's _your mission! Aaw please Winnie, let me come!"

"If he comes, I want to come too!" cried Gizmo, trying to find a way past the fence.

"He is NOT coming!" cried Winnie. "Look, just forget this! It's just me and Odie that are coming, and that's it! The rest of you, Clay, Gizmo, and you smelly cats, just leave! Go home and let us do our mission!"

"Look, lady," said Garfield. "I am not letting Odie go without me. He is NOT going to steal the glory from me this time. No sir."

"And you can't leave me back at the old abandoned restaurant!" cried Schwartzkoff. "If you guys knew I was there, who knows who else could be conspiring against me?"

"You've gotta let me come, Winnie!" begged Clay. "If there's puppies in danger, I wanna help!"

Gizmo had finally found the hole that Clay had escaped from previously. "You are so not leaving without me! I want some adventure!"

"Yeah, you wanna violate little puppies, that's what you wanna do," muttered Arlene. She turned to Winnie. "Sorry, old gal, but I gotta ask for admittance too. Garfield can get pretty difficult at times, and I'm the only one who knows how to handle him. Even though Odie's a bit smarter, you still can't count on him to understand Garf here. And besides—"she leaned down close to Winnie, "—do you really want to be stuck with all these guys?"

Winnie winced, frantically analyzing the situation. Finally, she sighed in defeat.

"You know, I am going to be in _so _much trouble for this..."

"_Yaaaaay!_" yipped Clay and Gizmo, jumping up and down and yapping like idiots.

Odie felt like jumping too. As much as he liked Winnie, he thought it would be more fun—and easier—with a lot more people there. And now there were seven!

"Let's go to the airport then!" he cried.

(AN: Clay and Gizmo are real, too. They're my brother's dogs. Clay is hyper and Gizmo needs to be neutered, just like in the story... Anyway, see you next chapter!)


	4. Kittens and Guitar Cases

(AN: Wow, another long hiatus! Sorry guys… On with the show, then…)

"You couldn't get us in first class, could you?" Garfield complained.

Winnie stuck her paw out to counter Garfield, but hit it on a suitcase before she could move it very far. "You know very well that animals can't ride up front. We have to be stored down here, with the luggage."

"Yeah, but Jon sometimes disguised me an' Garfield as kids so we could ride up front," said Odie, bent in a very strange position between a large suitcase and something that looked like a guitar case.

"Wouldn't that look weird, we'd have no parent with us," pointed out Arlene, with hardly any room between the bag she was on and the ceiling of the luggage compartment.

"Shaggy here could have pretended to be our mother. She's the biggest." Schwartzkoff was actually the most comfortable of the animals, for he had actually unzipped a suitcase and was nestled in some sweaters. Looking at his current nestling place, he grinned. "Somebody's going to find a lot of cat hair when they open up their luggage. Hope they have a Russian Blue at home, otherwise they're going to be very confused."

Gizmo's small, flat nose suddenly perked up. "I smell something strange," he said.

Clay began to sniff too. "It's… it's a **_CAT!_**" he hollered.

"Be quiet, Clay!" snapped Winnie. "And of course it's a cat. There's three of them in…" Winnie sniffed the air too. "Wait. You're right, it _is _a cat. A different one, too." She pointed her paw off to the corner where Garfield was crammed. "It's over there!"

"I don't see any Port-a-Pets," said Garfield, attempting to crane his neck to see if there were any cat crates anywhere. "Wait…" He sniffed the air, and although his sense of smell wasn't as in tune as the dogs' were, he could still smell a very familiar, _cute _smell.

"You're got to be kidding me," he marveled. He grabbed a small package that said, "MAIL TO ABU DHABI".

"Garfield, there wouldn't be a cat in there," said Arlene. "Stop wasting your time."

"I can't believe I'm doing this, but…" Garfield ripped open the package and…

"For the love of Ol' Roy!" cried Winnie. "There's a kitten in there!"

"Garfield!" gasped Nermal (come on, you all knew it was him) gratefully. "I can't tell you how happy I am to see you!"

"Garfield, did you try to mail Nermal off again?" cried Odie.

"I swear, it wasn't me this time," said Garfield frantically. "I knew it! I knew at least _somebody _else would want to mail this kitten off!"

"I was so scared!" moaned little Nermal. "I was with this couple, you see, he was doing so photo shoots with me for a new calendar, and he loved me, but his wife _didn't_! And so she packaged me up in this little box! At first I thought that _you _told her to do it, Garfield, but I was in Denver, which is pretty far from Indiana!"

"More proof of the Communists' plot," growled Schwartzkoff.

"I can't believe anyone would want to mail off something so cute!" cried Gizmo incredulously. "Even if it's a kitten!"

"You saved my life, Garfield!" cried Nermal, giving Garfield a big hug. "How can I ever repay you!"

Shaking Nermal off, Garfield shuddered and said, "By leaving me alone and never coming to visit me again."

"What are you doing here, anyway?" asked Nermal. "And who are all these people?" He suddenly spotted Odie. "Hi, Odie!" he cried happily.

"Hey, Nermal," said Odie, waving his paw as best he could.

"We're going on a mission to rescue some St. Bernard puppies," said Winnie. "And boy, am I going to have a lot of explaining to do when they find out I've got eight people with me instead of two."

Clay very slowly counted Gizmo, Garfield, Arlene, Odie, Winnie, Schwartzkoff, and himself. "Uh… there's only seven of us," he finally said. "Unless you're counting the kitten."

"And you'd better not be," snapped Garfield.

"Of course I am!" cried Winnie. "I'm not leaving a poor, defenseless kitten in this airplane all by himself. Besides, we've already got seven. What's one more?"

"You're rescuing puppies?" cried Nermal incredulously. "I would hate to leave puppies all by themselves! Especially if they're as cute as me!"

"Help me," moaned Garfield.

…………………

It took hours, but the eight animals had each other for company, and besides, Schwartzkoff found some food in the suitcase he was in. Still, they were all happy to get out.

Until they felt the wind chill.

"Jeez, it's like being locked in a freezer!" cried Odie, shivering madly.

"Come on, how would you know about that?" shot Garfield. "Now me, _I _would know. I was stuck in our freezer for three days. If we hadn't had all that ice cream in there, I would have been a goner."

"Uh…" Clay held up a finger in mild protest. "I've changed my mind. I want to go home."

"Too late for that," both Winnie and Garfield sniffed.

Nermal trembled crazily from the cold. "I… I hope th-this coldness doesn't aff…affect my cuteness," he said, his teeth chattering.

"Come here, you little cuss," said Arlene, pulling the shivering kitten close to her.

"Now what?" Gizmo asked Winnie hopefully.

"Well." Winnie pulled out her sheet of instructions. "An IRD dog is supposed to be meeting us at—"

"I'm glad you're here," said a voice, cutting them off. The eight traveling companions looked up and saw a golden retriever standing before them.

The golden retriever scanned the animals in shock. "Hmm… I was told I'd only be meeting _two _dogs," she finally said. "And never in my wildest dreams did I expect to actually meet _cats_."

"It's a long story," sighed Winnie. "I'm Winnie, this is my assistant Odie, and… all these guys kinda just tagged along for the ride. I take it you're the dog I'm… we're… supposed to meet?"

"Johnny, tell our contestant what she's won," muttered the golden retriever sarcastically. "Follow me."

The golden retriever executed a 180 degree turn and trudged her way towards a small shack to the side of the runway. "I'm beginning to wish I'd stayed home too," admitted Garfield quietly, hoping that no one heard him.

"Yeah, I'm almost beginning to think that staying in that old abandoned restaurant was actually safer," mused Schwartzkoff.

The golden retriever pushed the door of the shack open and moved aside so the travelers could gratefully stumble in the relatively warm room. "This is an IRD outpost," the dog explained, motioning her paw around the room. "Zeke over there sends out dispatches and the like. Lady answers distress calls. Bonny and Hershey do a lot of investigative work. Oh, and I'm Bailey, by the way."

"Do you guys get paid?" little Gizmo piped up.

"Well, we don't get paid _money_," said Bailey, "but our owners are actually rescue workers and on the occasions when they learn of what we've done, they give us a few extra dog treats." Bailey shrugged. "Not that I'd have much use for human money, anyway."

"Who's that?" asked Nermal, pointing to a large St. Bernard flopped miserably in a corner.

"That's Louisa," said Bailey. She gave Winnie a nudge. "Better go over and talk to her and get the exact location of where her puppies are."

Winnie nodded dully and motioned for the others to follow her. She tapped Louisa on the shoulder gently. "Louisa?"

The huge St. Bernard looked up in surprise. "Are you… here to rescue my puppies?" she asked in a thick accent.

Schwartzkoff sniffed rudely. "Why can't you go and get them youself—OW!" he screamed as Odie bit him roughly in the leg.

"I would, but I'm still recovering from their birth!" cried Louisa mournfully. "There were eleven of them, you know."

"I can hardly imagine," both Winnie and Arlene said quietly.

"So?" mumbled Garfield, Odie, Schwartzkoff, Clay, Gizmo, and Nermal.

"Haven't you told your humans that your puppies are in there?" Arlene asked Louisa.

"I've tried a dozen times," moaned Louisa. "But they won't listen!"

"I know the feeling," muttered Garfield. He had spoken to Jon loud enough for even a human like him to hear too many times to count, and yet only a few times had Jon actually responded. Humans could be so deaf sometimes.

"Tell me, where are your puppies?" Winnie asked.

Louisa pulled a map over in front of the travelers. "Right here," she said, pointing at a cave marked "Yorgishmeyer Cave" on the map.

"Wow, what a great name," muttered Garfield.

"And… where are we now?" asked Gizmo.

Louisa pointed to a small airport symbol on the other side of the map.

Arlene groaned, despite herself. "And how far away is that?"

"It's about one hundred miles," said Louisa.

"Great," muttered Garfield. "Anyone know how to drive?"

"There's one more thing," said Louisa. "You need to get them back quickly… my humans are leaving for home in two days!"

Winnie muttered a curse word.

"Hey! Language like that isn't cute!" scolded Nermal.

"I'll go find a car… preferably with four-wheel drive," sighed Garfield.

(AN: Yep, Bailey, Zeke, Lady, Bonny, and Hershey are (or were) some of my relatives' dogs. And… there's the end of the chapter! Except I have a question. I'm thinking seriously about writing a Garfield and Friends (specifically, a US Acres) fanfic, especially after a dream I had about it last night, which is a sign for me to start writing it, a sign, you hear? Anyway, do you think it should be posted in this section? Or misc comics? Or misc cartoons? Aaaaaanyway. Thanks for reading, and see you next chapter.)


	5. Claws and Tails

(AN: I'd apologize for not updating sooner, but you all probably expect it by now, so I'll just save my breath. Enjoy yourselves a healthy helping of Chapter Five, a la mode.)

"Is it just me, or is it even colder here than it was at the airport?" complained Schwartzkoff, rubbing his front paws together as he walked on his back paws.

"Well, the town of Yorgishmeyer is a bit farther north than the airport…" Clay's voice trailed off.

"Yeah, well, I'm freezing my tush off," shivered Arlene.

Winnie, who was at the front leading the troops, snapped her head around and gave a warning growl. "Oh, stop complaining. We're lucky enough to be here anyway. Imagine where we'd be right now if there hadn't been a delivery truck going from the airport to the town of Yorgishmeyer. We'd be two miles away from the airport, waist deep in the snow."

"Oh yes, and our present conditions are so much better," countered Garfield, a slow, shaky rage becoming more and more profound on his face. "Now we're _one hundred_ miles away from the airport, _chin _deep in the snow."

"Stop fighting!" whimpered Odie. "Let's just try to go find this cave!"

"Very good suggestion!" cried Winnie, who seemed grateful that there was at least one person in her party who wasn't prone to arguments. She lifted her nose up and sniffed the air. "I think it's… there! That's it!" She pointed to the faint outline of a cave, not too far in the distance.

"How do you know?" sniffed Garfield.

"I can smell it," said Winnie simply, effectively ending the conversation.

The travelers plunged on. Through the town, through the snow, and into the depths of the cave.

"This is insane." Garfield still looked a bit frantic. He shot a look back at the cave entrance, getting further and further behind them. "We need to turn back now. Look at that storm! We're going to be trapped in here before too much longer!"

"But so will the puppies!" cried Odie.

"Forget the puppies, I just wanna go home!"

Garfield had a feeling, a strange notion that the stares he was receiving were laced with anger.

There was a long, tense silence.

Finally, Arlene said, "Garfield, don't you _care_?"

Garfield was completely flustered. "Well, should I? I mean… you guys don't actually, do you?… You do…" Those soft hearted weaklings… why did they all hate him for… telling the truth?

"I'm not going to have you tugging at my heartstrings," said Winnie firmly. "Odie and I were the only ones assigned to this mission. The rest of you came on your own accord. So _no complaining_."

"Hey, Winnie!" Clay pointed his paw down the tunnel. "I think I can smell the puppies, and they're close!"

"I can smell them too!" cried Nermal. He leapt down the tunnel. "Oh, cute little puuup-piiies!"

A small whine echoed against the walls of the tunnel. The rest of the companions followed Nermal and saw, happily, a litter of St. Bernard puppies.

Winnie did a quick count. "Eleven. And they're all alive. Thank goodness…" She flumped on the ground next to the puppies. "I've never had puppies before, so I'm not sure if I'll be able to do this or not…" She reached out with one paw and pushed a puppy to her side. The puppy, after a few brief moments of searching, found a teat, and immediately began sucking.

"Oh, good luck getting all of them fed." Arlene lay down next to Winnie. "I'll assist in the feeding." She pushed about half of the puppies towards her.

"Hey puppies, I hope you're feeling better," said Gizmo gently. "Did it get very cold?" No answer. "Why aren't they answering me?"

"Because they can't talk yet, stupid!" yelled Clay, whacking Gizmo on the head.

"So what are we going to do now?" asked Odie.

"Well." Winnie talked as normally as one could with six puppies squirming and suckling on her. "Once they're done feeding, we'll each take at least one puppy and get them out of this cave, find a transport heading back to the airport, and bring them back to Louisa… in two days."

"We can't leave now." Everyone spun around and stared at Schwartzkoff.

"What makes you think _that_?" cried Winnie.

Schwartzkoff jerked his claw towards the cave entrance. "That storm. It's picked up. Honestly, are all you house pets' senses that dulled? We get out there, the cold and wind and snow will probably kill us of flat."

"He's right, you know," said Arlene. "My alley cat senses are just as good as his… I just wasn't paying attention."

"So what do we do?" asked Nermal, who was snuggling up by Arlene for warmth.

"We wait in here, where it's warmer." Schwartzkoff looked a bit leery. "Hopefully the storm will have died down enough tomorrow to venture out of here… But anyway, we've all had a very long day, and I don't know about you guys, but I'm pooped." He stretched out and laid down on the cave floor. "Not a warm blanket, but it'll do."

"Keep some puppies by you, so they'll stay warm," said Arlene sensibly. The dogs and cats lay in a circle, pulling sleepy, but happily well-fed for the time being, puppies close.

Only Garfield slept outside of the circle. Fine, be mad. Of course he didn't care about stupid puppies! There were far more dogs than what humans wanted, anyway! Why did it make a difference if eleven died?

He did his best to sleep, but his mind wouldn't let him.

_How long have I been up? _he thought in anguish. All the others had gone to sleep… at least an hour ago. And yet Garfield lay awake, his eyes bloodshot. _If there's one thing I'm not, it's an insomniac. An anorexic insomniac. And look at me… I haven't eaten for probably eight hours, and it's been even longer since I've slept!_

"Can't sleep?"

Garfield nearly yelped. He hadn't noticed that Arlene had risen and was now standing over him.

"No," he mumbled, "but I don't suppose you care."

"Why wouldn't I?" Arlene nuzzled next to Garfield and lay by his side. Garfield could feel his heart leep up in his head, almost behind his ears. His face turned red.

"Aah, so you care for the uncaring one, huh?" he managed to say.

"Oh, I don't believe what you said earlier," said Arlene, much to Garfield's surprise. "You were just hungry, tired, cold, and cranky. I know that your conscience wouldn't let you take more than ten steps away from these puppies."

"You have way too much faith in your fellow cat," said Garfield, although he knew that Arlene was right. Curse his conscience. He rested his chin on Arlene, feeling strangely… warm.

Arlene stood up; Garfield's warmth was rudely shattered. "Well, I guess I'd better get back to that puppy. Nermal is helping me, but he doesn't give off near the body heat that I do."

For the first time in days, Garfield felt a glimmer like himself—his selfishness rose with an alarming rate. With one snap of his jaw, he clamped down on Arlene's tail.

"You're not going anywhere," he said playfully.

Arlene snapped her head back on him, looking shocked, and even… Garfield blinked. Was that an _amorous _look?

"Wow…" she said quietly. "Bite my tail again… I liked that."

At that instant, Garfield realized that he would be able to keep warm all night.

(AN: Another quick end to a short chapter, but it's the best I can do. I have no inspiration at all. And yes, this chapter is why the story is rated PG-13. Ha ha. Well anyway… I shall return… soon! (I hope!))


	6. Carpets and Documentaries

(No time, writer's block, better things to do, blah blah blah. Here's chapter six. Thanks for being so patient with me.)

Although she had been up late, Arlene roused herself before anyone else. She was still in the same position she had been in when she fell asleep—nuzzled next to Garfield, with one paw over his back tenderly.

She sighed to herself. Why did she do this to herself—to him? Garfield had treated her like carpet—useful, nice to cuddle up in, but not something to get too worked up over, and something that could easily be replaced. Arlene knew that finding a cat more committed than Garfield would be an easy task.

Why, then, did she still come to him and take care of him? Why, then had she refused every other tomcat's advances on her, even after she and Garfield had unofficially split?

She took another look at Garfield, still sleeping soundly. Of course, it was not much of a difference from when he was awake. Arlene sniffed to herself, remembering some of their "dates"—they'd meet up, say hi, and just sit there. For minutes… many minutes… maybe even a half an hour on some days, Garfield would just look at her in his blank way. No matter how she tried to rile him, Garfield wouldn't be awoken from this "daze" until he himself seemed to decide that he had looked at her enough.

As the years wore on, Arlene had given up trying to talk to him when he pulled this stunt. She had just returned the same blank look, hard as she found it to control her rage at his placid silence… and her marvel. Yes… her marvel at how different Garfield was. She knew that she'd never be able to find another cat like Garfield… she wouldn't even be able to come close. No other cat was as funny as Garfield was, or was as much as a ham when it came to attention… Garfield was just an individual, he didn't usually care too much what others thought of him. He seemed happy with himself, and that was enough for him…

Arlene looked at Garfield again, this time glowing with affection. As much as she had to swallow her pride to do it, she finally admitted to herself that she was in love with him. It almost made her sick to think it—is that the effect love is supposed to have?—and she knew Garfield would probably never feel that way towards her. _Still,_ Arlene thought to herself, _I think he needs somebody to love him. I can get along alright without love, but Garfield…_

Garfield finally opened one lazy eye and peered up at her. "Any special reason why you're cleaning my ears, my dear?"

Arlene blinked. She hadn't even realized that, during her contemplating, she had started gently licking Garfield's ears.

"Because they stink," she said automatically.

He gave her that look again—that same blank look! If Arlene hadn't have had so much experience in giving him the same look back, she probably wouldn't have managed it. After everything she'd done for him, he still gave her the same look that he would give a documentary! And yet she _still _had to admit that she loved him!

Garfield's look might have been blank, but his mind wasn't. It never had been. Sometimes it just took him awhile to take her all in. And there were still unanswered questions… like why did this one cat make Garfield feel so worthwhile? No one else made Garfield feel the way that she made him feel. Garfield didn't even know what it was about her… but when he was with her, he felt like he could take on the world.

Arlene stopped licking his ears.

Garfield's blank stare continued. "Smile," he said suddenly.

Nonplused, Arlene asked, "Why do you want me to do that?"

"Because I want to see the gap between your teeth."

"Why?" hissed Arlene. "So you can make fun of it?"

Normally, Garfield would have answered "yes" to that question, but he surprised himself by saying unexpectedly, "No, because I think it's cute." His blank look faded away, and he gave her a disarming smile.

Arlene sniffed. "I'm not about to give you that satisfaction." Still, she couldn't hide the smile that was threatening to tug up her lips.

Their stares weren't blank anymore. They were gazes, filled with love and affection.

Garfield suddenly pulled away, blinking. _Stupid_, he thought to himself suddenly. _As charming as I might be, Arlene's deeper than that. I've never really given her any real reason to care about me…_

"What's the matter?" Arlene asked.

"Nothing," said Garfield quickly.

"No, I think I know," said Arlene, sounding a little harsh. "You're wondering why I'm wasting my time with you, because you've never done anything to make me show any real compassion to you, right?"

Garfield blinked again. "Well… yes…"

Arlene sighed. "I've been wondering that myself." Abruptly, she started licking his face. "One of the mysteries of the universe, I guess."

Garfield grinned and licked her face in return. "My dear, it's no mystery. You just know a perfect cat when you see him."

Arlene fumed. "Why you… you… conceited pig!"

Her outburst woke Odie, who whimpered, "Not so loud!"

"Nice going," said Garfield, grinning at Arlene. "You woke up the idiot."

"Hey!" whined Odie.

Winnie woke as well. "Oh, whatever. We'd probably better get out of here anyway, and catch a truck to the airport."

"If we're lucky enough to find one," mumbled Schwartzkoff, kicking Clay, Gizmo, and Nermal awake.

Winnie examined the puppies. "How are we going to do this… Everyone grab a puppy."

Her seven companions grabbed one puppy each, and Winnie did likewise.

"But Winnie, there's three left!" cried Clay.

"I know," snapped Winnie. "I'm trying to figure that out!" She thought for a moment. "I'll take another one, because I'm the biggest. Garfield, you take another one too."

"I'm insulted," grumbled Garfield.

"Odie, you grab one too… you're the next biggest." Holding two puppies gently between her teeth, Winnie moved towards the cave entrance. "Follow me."

Garfield hoisted a puppy on his back, which clinged to him tightly. Feeling rather silly, he picked up his other puppy in his mouth and followed Winnie.

The snow had piled pretty high last night, but there was still room to get out of the cave. And when the animals got out, they were pleasantly surprised to find that the day was sunny and clear, and they could see—

"Look! A truck! And it's got the airport symbol on it!" cried Nermal.

"Great!" said Winnie, sounding relieved. "Let's get on it!"

Garfield shook his head. "I don't know, it seems just too easy."

"Nonsense!" said Schwartzkoff. "We'll be back there in no time."

…………

Seven hours later…

"Just our luck that the van would run out of gas," mumbled Arlene.

"Miles from anything," added Gizmo.

"And another storm might come up soon," said Winnie.

"And it's cold in here!" whimpered Odie.

"Told you it was too easy," said Garfield, sounding almost triumphant.

"Wow, the house cat is right, for once in his life!" said Schwartzkoff with a sneer.

"What's wrong with being a house cat?" demanded Nermal.

"Hey!" cried Clay. "Let's stop arguing! It could be a lot worse. They'll probably be back with gas soon, and it's a lot warmer in here than it would be outside."

"Shh!" said Winnie suddenly. "I think I hear the driver coming back."

All eight travelers pressed their ears against the side of the van and listened to the man talk.

"Too bad I don't understand… whatever language he's speaking," sighed Garfield.

"Let's hope he's saying, 'Well, I've got some gas, so let's get going!'" said Gizmo hopefully.

They became quiet again, hearing the car start up again.

"Thank goodness," said Winnie. "Let's just hope we can get Louisa's puppies back to her in time… they'll probably be leaving next morning…"

Garfield groaned to himself. "I'm guessing that it'll be an annoyingly close call, and very dramatic."

(AN: And there we go. I have writer's block… again… so sorry to leave you hanging like this. However, I should (hopefully) be able to update very soon, as I finally graduated from high school and have, for a least a few months, actually some time to update. I think that the next chapter will be the last one, but there's another Garfield fanfic I want to write, so… stay tuned, and eat lots of cake. :) )


	7. Ravioli and Immigrants

(AN: Darn writer's block! Someone should come up with a cure for it, I swear. Plus, I can never come up with endings to my stories, which is why I'm not a very good writer. With that in mind, here is the last chapter. Hope you've enjoyed the story more than I have! Although that wouldn't take very much.

Also, if there are any spelling errors, it's because my spell check has gone haywire on me and I don't know how to fix it. I type really fast, so there will probably be a lot. I apologize in advance, as there's nothing I hate more than bad spelling and/or grammar.)

The truck parked at the airport and the rescuers dashed out with the puppies. "Louisa!" Winnie called out. "Louisa! We have your puppies!"

"This is a wild goose chase," said Arlene, giving Winnie a look that clearly said 'you're a dumb mutt'. "Did you even ask her what her plane flight number was?"

"Of course I did!" snapped Winnie. "Do you think I'm stupid? She said she was leaving on a plane with serial number A-856, and that it was white with blue markings."

"And there it goes," said Garfield, watching a white plane with blue markings, number A-856, take off into the sky.

Winnie flopped down on the ground, her mouth going limp and allowing the two puppies she was carrying to find their way to her warm fur. "I've failed," she said incredulously.

"Don't say that," said Odie, whimpering audibly. "We all failed, not just you."

"Oh, that makes me feel so much better," said Winnie, giving Odie a cynical eye.

Clay and Gizmo nuzzled up against each other. "At least we tried," said Clay.

All eleven puppies had been deposited in numb shock, and Nermal was doing his best to comfort them, even though they were really too little to understand what was going on anyway. "Don't worry, cute puppies that still aren't as cute as me… we can stay and be your mothers!"

Schwartzkoff shuddered. "There is no way I am going to be any dog's mother."

Winnie was still motionless on the ground. Odie gave her a gentle nudge with his nose and whimpered slightly, the way a dog will to comfort someone.

Turning her eyes to Odie's, Winnie said sadly, "I can almost hear her sorrow… even now…"

Garfield strained his ears. "I think I can too, and it's not just me going insane… listen!"

The animals' ears all perked up simultaneously. And they began to hear it, too… it was in a different language, but still…

"That _is _her!" cried Arlene. "That's her voice!"

Pretty soon, it was unmistakable that Louisa was there, running up to them with boundless joy. It's hard to miss a charging St. Bernard.

"My children!" she was now saying in English. "My dear children!" She swooped them all up, including Nermal, accidentally.

"I don't understand!" cried Winnie as Nermal pried himself from the huge St. Bernard's paws. "We just saw your plane take off!"

"It turns out that there was not enough room for us on that plane," said Louisa. "We put our luggage on that one, and we will be leaving on another one in about five minutes."

"What did I say?" cried Garfield. "An annoyingly close call… and dramatic! Can I call them or what?"

Louisa's owners had finally caught up with her. "Louisa! Where did these puppies come from?"

"Humans," muttered Garfield, Odie, Winnie, Arlene, Clay, Gizmo, Schwartzkoff, Nermal, and Louisa.

"Did she just now give birth to them?" one of the humans asked.

"No, she didn't look pregnant!"

"No, she's been skinny ever since we got out of that cave!"

"But before… you know, she _was _kind of round!"

"Kind of round?" snapped Garfield. "Stuff eleven St. Bernards in your stomach, and you'll be kind of round too!"

"Hey, where did these animals come from?" asked another human, pointing at the travelers.

"We rescued the puppies," said Gizmo matter-of-factly.

"I bet that they rescued the puppies!" cried the first human.

"I wish humans would listen," muttered Clay.

"We should alert the media to this!" cried another human. "This is a big news story! Four dogs and four cats rescued eleven puppies from an avalanche!"

Garfield grinned, feeling his ego take hold. "Oh yes, please do! Then we'll be all over the news and be famous!"

…………

The animals _were _on the news. The international news, to be precise. Thus, when Garfield and Odie finally managed to trudge their way back home, Jon, instead of asking, "THERE you are! Where on earth have you been? I've been so worried about you!", he cried, "You're back! You're back! When I heard the news and saw the pictures, I immediately knew where you were, and I told everyone, and there have been well-wishers coming by with gifts, and I told them to bring Odie regular dog treats but Garfield pasta, and the newspapers have been interviewing me, and…"

Garfield covered his ears. "Is this the price one has to pay for fame?"

Odie looked at the kitchen in shock. "Look," he breathed.

The kitchen was practically overflowing with pasta… every type of pasta imaginable. Garfield took one look in the kitchen and fainted.

…………

There was so much pasta that, even two months later, Garfield still hadn't finished it all.

"For supper I'd like to have that last bit of sausage ravioli, and maybe with a side of garlic bread," Garfield ordered.

"What do you want for supper, Garfield?" Jon asked. "I bet you'd like to finish off that sausage ravioli, wouldn't you? I'll get you some of that garlic bread to go with it."

"My pet and I have reached the perfect level of understanding," said Garfield with a contented sigh.

Odie, who was chewing on one of his gift squeaky toys, suddenly perked up his ears. "I smell something familiar…"

"Of course you do," said Garfield. "It's the smell of my sausage ravioli being heated—"

"No! It's Schwartzkoff!"

Garfield sniffed. "Schwartzkoff! Are you sure? The last time I saw him was just after the rescue. And I hoped that it would _be _the last time, too."

"Well, I'm sure it's—"

"_Garfield_!" cried Schwartzkoff, bounding into the room. "Just the cat I've been looking for! I have big news!"

Garfield held up a paw. "Whatever it is, it'll have to wait until I've eaten dinner."

"But Garfield!" cried Schwartzkoff dramatically. "Arlene's just given birth to four kittens!"

"Good for her," muttered Garfield.

"But they're _yours_!"

"_Very _good for her. Now can I eat?"

Schwartzkoff blinked. "Garfield, don't you care?"

Throwing his paws up in agony, Garfield cried, "I sense a theme here! Look, it's great and all that my perfect genes are being passed down, but my supper is more important. Now, if you'll excuse me—"

"You've gotta come and just _look _at them!" cried Schwartzkoff, pushing Garfield towards the door.

Garfield blinked. "Uh… why?"

"Come on!" cried the Russian Blue happily. "You're their father!"

"Uh-huh," nodded Garfield. "Might I remind you that I am also a cat. And we male cats are never involved in our children's lives! You know that!"

"My dad was, the sneaky back-stabber!" cried Schwartzkoff, his eyes blazing with his insanity.

Garfield sighed. "But you, oh mentally unstable one, were born on a kitty farm."

"Well, at least come and see them!" cried Schwartzkoff. "One of them looks just like you! Well, except it's a lot smaller—"

"_FINE_!" cried Garfield in frustrated resignation. "I'll go and look at them, but then just let me come back and eat in peace!"

"Can do!" cried Schwartzkoff.

"I wanna come too!" cried Odie, leaping up to follow the cats.

…………

"They're back in here," said Schwartzkoff, pointing down an alley. "Hey, Arlene! I found him!"

Garfield, Odie, and Schwartzkoff rounded a corner, and there indeed was Arlene, with four healthy-sized newborn kittens suckling on her.

"There you are," said Arlene, giving Garfield a playfully annoyed look. "You know, thanks to you, these are pretty good-sized kittens. I had a heck of a time getting them out."

"I see you managed," said Garfield. "Alright, Schwartz, I saw them. Can I go back to my ravioli now?"

"Oh no you don't," said Schwartzkoff. "You're going to help name them!"

Garfield groaned. "Why do I have to… let me see them closer."

He walked up to Arlene and stared at the four kittens. Schwartzkoff had been right—one of the kittens was orange with black stripes. There was also a cream kitten with stripes, a solid orange kitten, and a solid cream kitten.

Garfield pointed to the orange striped one. "Call him Garfield Junior. The rest you can name whatever you want."

Odie chuckled. "What if that one's a girl?"

"Then call her… Garfieldetta. There. Can I go now?"

Arlene shook her head. "There's only one girl, and she's…" Suddenly, the cream striped one pulled away and meowed, seemingly just for fun. "…that one." Arlene pushed the girl back to her.

"Aah. Well then, you can call her Harriet," said Garfield. "She looks just like my mother."

"I actually want to give them all similar names, you know, like they're a theme, a set," said Arlene.

"That's easy," said Garfield, clearly growing impatient. "Call them 'Orange Stripes', 'Orange No Stripes', 'Cream Stripes', and 'Cream No Stripes'. Not only is that a theme, but you won't get them mixed up."

"What kind of theme can you have for three boys and a girl?" asked Odie.

"I don't know about the girl, but I can think of plenty for the boys," said Schwartzkoff, unsuccessfully holding back a chuckle. "Larry, Moe, and Curly come to mind. Or Groucho, Chico, and Harpo. How about Huey, Dewey, and Louie?" Schwartzkoff bit his paw to keep himself from laughing any further.

Odie grinned. "Or Bobby, Billy, and Bertie."

"Oh no!" cried Garfield emphatically. "I am _not _naming them after the Buddy Bears! No siree!"

Arlene grinned. "I do like the idea of having all their names start with the same letter, however."

"Like what?" asked Schwartzkoff. "Pablo, Paco, and Pedro?"

"Yes! That's it!" cried Arlene.

"You've got to be kidding me," said Garfield incredulously. "You're giving them Spanish names?"

"Why not?" asked Arlene, gazing at the kittens fondly. "They're cute names."

"What about the girl?" asked Odie. "What girl Spanish name begins with a P?"

"I think that a lot of English names, like Paula and Patricia, exist in Spanish too, they're just pronounced with an accent," said Schwartzkoff.

Arlene grinned at Garfield. "I named the boys, so you should name the girl. What do you like better, Paula or Patricia?"

"I don't like _either _of them," snapped Garfield. "I still want to name her Harriet."

"That doesn't begin with a P!" said Odie in a sing-song like voice.

"I'll show you P," muttered Garfield. "Fine. Call her Patricia. Then she can be known as Patti and not be confused for a Mexican immigrant."

"Alright then," said Arlene, sounding pleased. "Pablo, Paco, Pedro, and Patricia."

Garfield gave Schwartzkoff a pleading look. "May I go now, _master_?"

"Fine," said Schwartzkoff. "I still don't see why you'd want to leave at a time like—"

Garfield grabbed Odie's paw and pulled him out the alley and back to their house.

"Come on, Garfield, you've got to admit that this is a momentous occasion," said Odie with a grin.

"You bet it is," said Garfield, smiling. "I'm about to finish off that sausage ravioli!" As they were now at the house, he sprang through the pet door without another word.

Odie sighed and shook his head. "He's still the same old Garfield…" Odie spun around suddenly. "Hey, what was that?" He had just seen something black and skinny behind him… and there it was! "Come back here!" cried Odie, giving desperate chase to his own tail.

Watching the scene from the kitchen window, Garfield grinned. "And Odie's still the same old Odie." With that, he dove into his sausage ravioli.

THE END

Thanks for reading! I hope to get at least another Garfield fanfic up here. (I have ideas for two, actually.) So I will see you hopefully very soon!


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